regarding jaguars

for the past few weeks, coy has taken it upon himself to begin collecting small tidbits of information regarding the wildlife we may encounter during our time in belize. perhaps the most outstanding possibility is the potential to tango with the largest cat in the western hemisphere: the jaguar. of course, ocelots are cute and relatively interesting, but nothing quite catches the attention like a leopard sized feline backstroking across the local water source. that's right, not only are jaguars actually larger than leopards, but they apparently LOVE to swim. perhaps even more captivating than their profound appreciation for water sports is the jaguar's unique killing technique.

"the jaguar has developed an exceptionally powerful bite, even relative to the other big cats. this allows it to pierce the shells of armoured reptiles and to employ an unusual killing method: it bites directly through the skull of prey between the ears to deliver a fatal blow to the brain."

awesome. i can't wait to meet one. although these sweet little pussy cats are considered to be near threatened, the greatest numbers reside in our new neighborhood...belize. but have no fear, my friends, for these ferocious fur balls do not rely on such medieval predatory techniques as the chase. (i am sure you were all just picturing me sprinting for my life down a dusty village road with a jaguar hot on my trail. although i have been amping up the workouts recently, i would not like to find out if i could actually out run one of these bad boys.) there will be no need for running, you see, as the jaguar is a stalk-and-ambush predator.

"the cat will walk slowly down forest paths, listening for and stalking prey before rushing or ambushing. the jaguar attacks from cover and usually from a target's blind spot with a quick pounce; the species' ambushing abilities are considered nearly peerless in the animal kingdom by both indigenous people and field researchers, and are probably a product of its role as an apex predator in several different environments. the ambush may include leaping into water after prey, as a jaguar is quite capable of carrying a large kill while swimming; its strength is such that carcasses as large as a heifer can be hauled up a tree to avoid flood levels."

now, ordinarily i would not be so alarmed by this. i did, after all, live in zambia for two years without fearing a lion attack each time i sauntered off to my pit latrine. but i have heard tale of jaguars devouring the family dog in the wee hours of the morning. sure, pets do fall prey to many unfortunate and untimely deaths, but being eaten by a jaguar? it just doesn't seem fair.
no worries. i've got a plan. i'm developing an intensive training regiment for our little moo kitten. i figure by august she'll be pretty bulky. and she's been practicing her own stalk-and-ambush style. now i just need to work on fashioning a kitten concealing carry-on bag.